Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Nashville.
In just a few minutes, we'll be preparing our 4:45 departure for New York City.
Howdy. How you doing?
Applications and pencils are on the bar. Don't steal the pencils.
Hurry it up. Doors close at 4:05.
Anyone not inside at 4:05 doesn't audition.
When I call your name, I want you to come right up on stage.
And if it's your first time here, I think you should know...
that if you don't pass, it just means I don't think you're ready.
So go home and keep on writing, and come on back again.
- You gonna try for writer's night? - Yeah.
I'm a writer myself. I had a top 20 hit last year.
Really?
Young writers always hate it when I tell them that.
Wanna know what I'm still doing behind a wheel.
I tell them, live for the moment.
But don't ever get a picture of what it's gonna be like when you finally hit...
'cause you ain't never gonna be in that picture.
One, two, un, deux, trois.
- This is it. - This is it?
Remember, no matter what it looks like on the outside...
- it's what's going on inside that counts. - Yeah, I guess.
- There you go. - Thanks.
Hey, what time is it?
- 4:15. - 4:15.
We have to do something about this.
- You're here with me. - What?
I had to stop and change a flat tire for you...
- which is why I'm late. - Hey, wait a second.
- James, you know the rules. 4:05. - I know.
I just stopped to fix this girl's flat tire.
- Oh, that was really nice of you. - Which is why...
You are a regular Good Samaritan, you are.
Next time, let the cab driver change his own tire and you get here on time.
You should consider breaking one of those rules sometimes, Lucy.
- It might be liberating, if nothing else. - Hey, I don't know him.
That whole tire thing, that was his idea.
Look, I just came here from the bus station.
In fact, all the way from New York, and I mean, I didn't even...
Look, I know I'm late, but I really did suffer to get here.
- What was your name, honey? - Miranda Presley. No relation.
Well, Miranda Presley, no relation...
there is nothing you can tell anybody in this room about suffering.
There's another audition next week.
Hey!
You know, I don't appreciate you including me in your lie back there.
Especially without asking me.
Well, that's a fine point to make.
Thank you.
Okay.
There might be a song in that.
I was gonna ask you out for a beer...
but I've since changed my mind.
What is that, some kind of line?
Yes.
Does it work?
Sometimes. Rarely.
I'll bet.
I might change my mind again.
Maybe you should change your line.
- That'll be $20. - I'll pay for the whole week.
That won't work.
Well, the strip is shot. The card is good.
You can call it in if you want.
No need for that. You said it was good.
Never did cotton to the idea of trusting a machine over a person.
You've got an honest face, Miranda.
Have I got a room for you.
Come on in, sweetie. Sit wherever you want.
- I'll be right with you. - Thanks.
Applications, pencils are on the bar.
Don't steal the pencils.
Okay, next.
- Linda Lue Linden? - That's me. Hi.
Is that really your name, honey?
I'm afraid so. Yeah.
Hey, my name is Linda Lue Linden.
And I'm from Briar Hill, Alabama...
and I just wrote this one, and it's called Heaven Knocked On My Door.
I had a dream last night and there you were
Standin' at my bed
Can I start over?
I had a dream last night and there you were
Standin' by my bedside
Devil in angel's clothin'
Talkin' about your crazy ride
I didn't know what to say at first
I couldn't get by those wings
Now here I am in the middle of the night
Talkin' to you about somethin'
- Miranda Presley? - Yeah.
Hi. My name is Miranda Presley.
I'm from New York City, and this song is called Big Bar Hair.
You can see it in the shopping malls
Five-foot girls, six feet tall
Four-inch heels, fake fingernails
She's checkin' out all the sales
You could see it from a distance She's a good ol' girl
She's gettin' ready to take on the world
Gonna torture my hair Gonna burn it blond
Gonna tease it beyond repair
Gonna camouflage the brains in there
Gettin' my own big bar hair
Yeah, I'm gettin' my own
Big bar hair
All right. Kyle Davidson.
Hello. I'm Kyle Davidson. I'm from Connecticut.
This...
I'm a little nervous, but it really doesn't show.
It's called I Can't Understand.
If you could read my mind
You'd know how hard I tried
But losing was not my plan
And I can't understand
With all those tears I cried
I should have realized
That I'd never hold you again
And I can't understand
I can't understand
Why you left my love behind
I can't understand
But I'll love you till the end of time
I search my memory
All right. James Wright.
Oh, I'm so nervous, I can hardly stand.
You ought to be.
I already sold this song and I...
I wrote it for a woman to sing, but what the hell.
You got a thing or two to learn about me, baby
'Cause I ain't takin' it no more and I don't mean maybe
You don't know right from wrong
The love we had is gone
- So blame it on your lyin', cheatin' - So blame it on your lyin', cheatin'
- Cold, deadbeatin' - Cold, deadbeatin'
- Two-timin', double dealin' - Two-timin', double dealin'
- Mean, mistreatin', lovin' heart - Mean, mistreatin', lovin' heart
Well, all I wanted was to be your one and only
But all I ever got from you was being lonely
Now that is laid to rest 'Cause you have failed the test
Hey, blame it on your lyin', cheatin', cold, deadbeatin'
All right, man.
Okay. If I call your name...
it means you're playing here Saturday night.
Be here before 7:00.
Nancy Butterworth, Nick Barrett...
Tom Mortenson, Janet Hogan...
James Wright and Ross Miller.
And thank you all for coming.
Miss Miranda, come over here a second.
We're just congregating.
Congratulations.
- Thank you. I appreciate it. - Hey, Kyle Davidson.
- Hey, Linda Lue, is that your face I see? - Well, it ain't nobody's butt.
- Your song was pretty tonight. - Oh, it was pretty bad.
So, what did you want?
What?
I was just looking at you up close.
- Yeah, there was something... - But you changed your mind?
Exactly.
Oh, hey, I liked your song.
Thanks.
- I'm Kyle. - I liked your song.
Hi. Miranda. I liked yours, too.
- Really? - Yeah.
So when we meet as friends My heart will break again
If that's how the story ends
Then I can't understand
- Wow. - Yeah.
Was that exactly Kyle's song, because I hardly even recognize it.
Yeah, that was... That was it exactly.
You got a great ear. You got that from hearing me sing it?
Well, I don't know if the term "sing" really applies.
Man, they build you up and then they just tear you down.
Like they all got the same instruction manual.
- Miranda. - I'm Linda Lue.
- Nice to meet you. - You, too.
I really thought your song back there was great.
...l'd be interested to find out.
Do you ladies have any desire to accompany Mr. Wright and me...
on an excursion into history?
- And where might you be going? - Little midnight ride, maybe.
'Cause Connecticut Yankee Kyle wants to write a cowboy song.
- That's right, ma'am. - Well, you want to go?
Yeah.
All rightie, then. Let's go, little doogies.
- Dogies. - Doogies.
Dogies. Come on.
Hey, look at this guy. He's smiling for us.
That's no smile. That's contempt.
I had a third cousin who used to be a rodeo clown.
Funny thing is, he broke his neck and he died.
Well, don't worry about me. I took riding at summer camp.
Yeah. The dude ranch in what? New England?
Hey, hey, what do you know? Whoa!
Kyle Davidson, you are a sight to behold!
Ride them, cowboy!
The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be many...
- Look at me, look at me. - What?
- In the eyes. - Okay, okay.
- How many fingers am I holding up? - A couple.
- How many fingers? - Four or five, yeah.
- How many Beatles were there? - Three, and Ringo.
- You okay? You okay? - Yes.
Oh, he's just fucking with me.
- I'm just one hell of a country boy. - Just a minor concussion, that's all.
Linda, please get the truck, and I gotta secure the horses, here.
- Make sure he doesn't fall asleep. - Oh, my God.
- Gotta keep him awake and conscious. - Yes, I'm fine.
Kyle, we have some work on this fence to do for Mr. Wilson tomorrow.
- You all right, honey? - Oh, honey.
You know, there's this tradition when you first get to Nashville...
where you have to go to the tallest mountain...
or the top of a building, and throw your head back...
and yell as loud as you can, "Look out, Music City...
"'cause I'm here now and I ain't never leaving."
- You got that? - Got that.
- That's real nice. Okay. - Don't forget it.
I wasn't sure that song was any good until I heard you sing it tonight.
- Oh, Kyle, it's a beautiful song. - Great, will you do the demo for me...
because I don't have anybody else.
I don't have any money and I can't pay you or anything.
- I got the car. Put on your hat. - Okay. Yeah, sure.
- I'm sorry. - Yeah, put your arm around there.
- Put your arm around my head. - All right.
Now, honey, I told you before, he's perfectly fine...
- but we just can't release him. - Look, could we at least go back...
- and just talk to him? - Honey, can't you try to relax...
and I'll let you know. He's just fine.
So, where you been staying?
- You know that motel near the Bluebird? - The Drake?
- Yeah. - Unreal. That's where I'm staying.
What room did you get?
- Room 108. - Oh, my God, the dreadful disco room.
Yeah, I kind of like it.
Yeah, you should see mine. It is so great.
It's all done up and everything. It's just, I mean, it looks super.
You should come over and see it sometime.
- Maybe. - You know what?
I'm getting an idea...
that since we're both at the same motel, why don't we just...
go ahead and share my room and then we can save some money.
You just met me. I mean, you don't even know me.
Oh, please. I'm an excellent judge of character.
I have a touch of the power, you know. I truly do.
Daddy, look at me. Are you okay? You'll be fine.
Johnson, Room 10.
Ma'am, excuse me, are you the doctor? Can I come in there?
- You can't come in. - Daddy, I'll be right here! I'll wait.
- Just go. Just wait. - Okay.
The more I hurt
The less I feel
The more I know
The less I rest in this
Lone star
State of mine
- Did you write that yourself? - Yeah, just now. For you.
You see, to be honest...
I'm not particularly fond of hospitals myself.
The truth is...
my dad went into an emergency room and I never saw him again.
- That's him. - Well, he looks just like Elvis.
He's the other one who doesn't look like Elvis.
He gave this to me when I was 10.
My "decitennial accolade," he called it.
He had a name for everything.
He raised me since I was 5. Just me and him.
So, where was your mom through all this?
She split...
pretty early on.
Presley's my middle name.
He had this thing, my dad, about Elvis.
Nothing weird.
He always wanted to take me to Graceland...
but we never made it.
Come on. There's something I want to do.
Where we going, baby?
Now, don't do it just 'cause Kyle, that pseudo-hick Kyle, told you to.
Hey, it's a grand old Nashville tradition.
Well, you can bet he tells that to all the girls...
who get off the Greyhound bus.
Yeah, well, traditions have to start somewhere.
Look out, Music City...
'cause I'm here now and I ain't never leaving!
This is terrible. I cannot watch this.
Look out, Music City...
'cause I'm here now and I ain't never leaving!
It's just so desperate.
Well, is this all beneath you, Mr. Cool Guy?
It's not that I can't do it.
- In fact, I could do it better than most. - Oh, well, then.
Look out, Music City...
'cause here I am and I ain't never leaving. There.
Look out, Music City...
'cause I'm here now and I ain't never leaving!
Look out, Music City, 'cause here I am and I ain't never leaving!
Look out, Music City...
'cause I'm here now and I ain't never leaving!
Look out, Music City...
'cause here I am and I ain't never leaving!
- Nice view, isn't it? - It's beautiful.
- I like it up here. - Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, that's not nice.
I'm sorry. He's usually not like that.
Okay, he's a little jealous. Come on in.
Well, excuse me. This is it.
This is my casa.
If you need anything, you just help yourself.
Take either bed.
I've been using this one right here, but that one's good.
All right. Hey, Buster.
- Oh, his name ain't Buster. - What's his name?
It's Mr. Dog.
Well, how do you know his first name isn't Buster?
Well, because he would have told me...
because we discuss practically everything, don't we?
I think that's for me.
Hello?
Hey, Ma.
No, I just got in this second.
Yeah, yeah. No, everything's fine. Everything's great.
Yeah, as a matter of fact, I passed my audition.
Yeah, well...
I was waiting for you to take a breath, Mama...
so I could get a word in edgewise.
Yeah, they said, just like Loretta Lynn.
Where are you going?
I'm just going to the coffee shop across the street.
Don't wait up.
I sent you two money orders.
Linda Lue, are you listening to me? Who are you talking to?
No, I'm listening, Mama.
Oh, thanks.
You know, this stuff is keeping you awake.
- That's the general idea. - Well, what you need is sleep, honey.
Hey. I was just wondering if I gave you the spare room key.
Yeah, you did.
Your pajamas have feet?
Oh, yeah, I unpacked some of your stuff for you.
I put your T-shirts in the second drawer...
your underthings, I put those in the top drawer...
and pretty much everything else I put in the closet...
left to right, light to dark.
- You have a lot of black. - Okay, great.
See, I can't even wear black. It just completely washes me out.
- You ain't mad at me, are you? - No. No. I just...
I came here to be alone, so I could get some work done.
So it's nothing personal. I just...
Oh, oh. Well, I'm sorry.
You know, sometimes people aren't exactly...
the person you might think they are when you first meet someone.
Well, if it ain't little miss "getting my own big bar hair."
Yeah, I'm working on that line. Is Lucy around?
You must be here to see about the waitress job.
Oh, no. I'm not a waitress. I'm a writer.
Well, it's getting where I can't tell the difference anymore.
- Hey, Lucy, come on out here. - Okay. Just a minute, I'm coming.
- You can call me Floyd. - Hi. Miranda.
I kind of help run this place.
Well, Miranda Presley "no relation." What can I do for you, hon?
She's here to see about Darcy's job.
You know, Darcy quit when she got a job...
with Rodney Crowell singing backup. She met him right here in this club.
Yeah, slipped him a tape, which is against the rules.
Well, I am here to see you, Lucy, if you have a minute.
Sure.
Floyd, I'm gonna need that fryer working by tonight, now.
- Have I ever let you down? - Repeatedly.
I wanted to ask you about my audition.
You want to know what I thought was wrong with your song?
Or what you liked about it. That would be okay, too, right now.
Well, I thought your melody was real nice.
You're a good performer, hon. You looked right at home on stage.
But?
Well, your song is a novelty song...
and maybe you need to dig in a little deeper.
Let me show you something.
You know what's in here?
These are all really great songs that were sung here first.
They're not all hits, but they're really special songs.
Some of them took 10 minutes, some of them took 10 years.
But every one of these writers found a way to say something...
that meant something to them.
You know, country music tries its best to be honest with itself...
and when it's sad, it says it's sad.
Okay. Thanks, Lucy.
Listen, Miranda, I know you're not interested in this waitress job...
but if you change your mind, the hours are 4:00 to closing.
And no passing tapes to the customers.
Excuse me.
Did I thank you for bringing glamour and excitement into my dreary life?
I need a light, not a draft. Look at this.
This guy wants me to strip at his office party.
Don't do it, darling. This label's going bankrupt.
Well, that's a good reason for it.
This song is called Lone Star State of Mine.
Hey, hon.
The more I hurt
The less I feel
The more I know
The less I rest in this
Lone star state of mine
The more I hurt
The less I feel
The more I know
The less I rest in this
Lone star state of mine
Say it straight, don't bend my ear
When I'm walking lost in an evening air
You two-step into my
I need a Bud, too.
Idle home
And tearing my song all up with minor chords now
The more I solve, the less I work
That can't be good for some boy out of love
Out of touch, out of lust, out of soul, n'out of song
The more I hurt
The less I feel
Should I say more or less to get real?
The more I hurt
The less I dream on
- Hey. - Hey.
- You play a mean cello. - Thanks.
It's just a big mandolin, really.
How do you like Nashville so far?
I'm writing a song about a waitress who kills herself.
- Yeah, it's tough. - Yeah.
But that's why when I first came here I went to the roof...
and I told the whole damn town that I don't plan to leave.
- You really did that? - Yeah.
- I did, too. - Yeah, I know. I heard you.
The whole hospital heard you.
In fact, that's my favorite thing about you so far.
Yeah?
Well, I'm gonna...
You know, James, trust is like an ice cube.
Once it melts, it's gone.
So, in that regard, I've heard some things.
Oh, you're speaking of the R.C. Roberts thing.
Well, we had our troubles. He wanted me to sound like...
- all that top 20 crossover shit. - I heard you knocked him out.
Yes, I knocked him... No, I didn't knock him out.
I hit him. I clocked him good, you know.
Did you sign a contract with R.C. Roberts?
- No. - Tell me the truth.
No.
You know, I would have passed on Elvis if he hit somebody.
You know why? 'Cause I can.
- Yeah. Well, that's good. - Now, it's not that I'm disinterested.
Understood?
- You're James, right? - Yes, ma'am.
Well, this A and R guy had to leave while you were still on...
but he wants you to call him first thing tomorrow.
Well, thank you, dear. Listen, you've heard my music...
you know what it's all about. If you have any interest at all...
- please feel free to call. - Why would I not be...
You got my number. You can get it from Lucy.
Well, now, I am interested, yes.
Very interested. I'll call you first thing tomorrow.
First thing. Got it? Doug Siskin, first thing.
Thank you. Thank you so much. We work well together.
- Forget about it, baby. - I'm not gonna forget about it.
- In fact, I owe you. - Well, if you really mean that...
- I know what I want. - What's that?
- How about we write a song together? - Okay.
Well, let's go to the movies, then.
- The movies? - Yeah.
- I don't wanna go to the movies. - Come on, baby.
I told you I want to write a song together.
So, what's this movie about?
It's the oldest story in the book. Two guys and a girl.
John Wayne and James Stewart and Vera Miles.
What happens?
Well, let's see.
OI' John and Jimmy
They both loved Miss Vera
Now, you know, in time Something's bound to go wrong
They love the same girl
She's undecided
Looks like Johnny and Jimmy will fight
Before long
The world goes around and we're on it, regardless
Sometimes it's warm
Sometimes cold and heartless
Yes.
We all have something
That we're in search of
Dream comin' true
Life full of love
- That's damn good. - No.
No, it's good.
All right, it's good.
That door sometimes sticks.
Here, let me help you with that.
I should call you sometime.
Yeah, you should.
Good night, moody.
- Lue, wake up. - I'm awake.
- There's a man outside the room. - Oh, it's probably Billy.
- Who's Billy? - We had a date.
He's not real bright, but he plays real good guitar.
Yup, that's Billy.
Doesn't Billy have a home?
Yeah. Well, it's just, when he dropped me off tonight...
I told him I wasn't gonna sleep with him.
Because basically, I've decided that the road to love...
is just a one-way street, and sex ain't nothing but a road block.
So he says that he'll just sleep out there to be near me...
and I said, "Go ahead, sleep out there on the cold cement...
"catch a cold, I don't care." And he ended up doing that anyway.
Isn't that nice?
Oh, speaking of nice, look what else he gave me.
- What's that? - This.
Miss Nashville pageant.
There's prizes and scholarships and the finalist gets to go...
to the Miss Tennessee pageant in Jackson.
What do you think?
I think I don't want to be Miss Nashville.
Of course you don't want to be Miss Nashville.
You already know what you want to do with your life.
You're lucky.
So what did you end up doing tonight?
I went out with James.
Really? How'd that turn out?
- It was interesting. - Interesting, huh?
So, you gonna end up staying up all night...
in that stupid diner writing songs?
Miranda?
Yeah.
Hey.
I'm working on a song about insomnia.
What's your excuse?
- Breakfast? - Dessert.
I've managed to get studio time tomorrow at 2:30.
- A.m.? - Yeah.
- Great. - Good.
- Good, I'll pick you up. - All right.
Why didn't you call?
- When? - Now.
About singing on the demo.
I wanted to see you again.
Okay.
- Good night. - Good morning.
I'm gonna go write some more of those good songs.
Yeah, write a good one for me.
I write them about you.
You're gonna need more marshmallows.
Lue?
Linda Lue?
Oh, Mr. Buster Dog...
the only unfriendly creature in all of Nashville.
Miss Linda Lue, if you had to change one thing about the United States...
what would that be?
Well, Bob, I just think America is the most wonderful place in the world.
- You look great. - Yeah, well, you know.
I figure if I win Miss Nashville, I can finally express my natural talent.
Yeah, sure.
Oh, your boyfriend looks a little overcooked here.
Oh, God, he's getting scorched.
Honey.
- Should we turn him over? - Yeah, come on.
You know, Miranda, you may not know this...
since you're asleep during most of my waking hours, but...
I've been having some serious doubts about my career as a songwriter.
I mean... Hold him. Lift.
I'll never be as good as you, and you're not even getting anywhere.
Thanks.
- No, I didn't, you know... - Yeah, I know.
- You really do look beautiful. - Really?
Are you sure everything's enough, like the...
- Oh, oh, it's definitely enough. - Yeah?
In fact... Yeah, yeah. What did you do?
Follow some beauty queen handbook...
on using all of your makeup that you own?
- Spit. - Thank you.
So, has he called yet?
I don't know. Has he called in?
- Spit. - He will.
I mean, if he doesn't, he's just a big old doodie-head.
Yeah.
God, your skin is so luminous underneath all this gunk.
You know, you're my very best friend, you know that?
That's 'cause you're such a sap, Lue.
Chicken and marshmallows are completely different.
He's so retarded.
Whoa! I realize it's getting late.
I got an idea pertaining to the ending.
Let's leave out that last chord. Let's end on the three.
So you're gonna take out the anticipation?
Take out the anticipation. Exactly.
You wanna leave it hanging and don't resolve it?
- No resolve. - Might work. Let's try it.
- Let's give it a shot. - Let's do it.
- Where do you want to take it from? - Let's do the last three.
One, two, three.
Like a rolling stone
down a lost highway
Like a rolling stone
down a lost highway
It's right here. Bring it down.
- Yeah, man. - Yeah, man.
- It works. - I like it.
Yeah.
- Hey, let's wait outside. - We'll take it from the...
- Okay. - From the top.
One, two. One, two, three...
I remember the first time I learned what sarcasm was.
My brothers and I were making model airplanes...
and I spilled a little red bottle of paint.
And my brother Sean says, "Kyle, thank you. Thank you, Kyle."
I couldn't figure out what he meant for the life of me.
Sarcasm was important in my family.
But, see, that's what's good about country music.
There's no sarcasm in it. It's just straightforward.
Makes you laugh or cry, that's it.
Oh, I don't know.
I realize I don't really belong in Nashville...
but that's why I try so hard.
Me, too.
I never considered myself much of a singer.
Well, you are.
I'm much obliged, Steven.
I owe you what? Twenty minutes?
No. Next time, I go first.
- Is that what it is? - It's that simple.
- Okay. - Hi.
Hey. Hey.
What's the story with you and James?
I'd be curious to know myself.
Can't understand
why you left my love behind
Can't understand
But I'll love you till the end of time
I search my memory
- For the reason you don't love me - For the reason you don't love me
You know who would be great for this song?
- No. - Trisha Yearwood.
- And I know her. - Yeah?
Well, yeah. I delivered a pizza to her house once.
Well, you know, you should get this to her.
- Yeah, right. - Kyle, I'm serious.
This song is better than most of the stuff on the radio.
Well, you always think that...
when you're the only one who's ever heard it. Trust me.
Oh, all right.
You know, I just got two words for you, Kyle Davidson.
- Oh yeah? What? - No wonder.
No wonder?
No wonder, what?
- What? - What do you think?
Well, what? I don't know.
What, that I still work in a record store? Or that I'm just another one...
of those guys that never did what he said he was gonna do?
I know, I just sit around, I play around and I never get around...
- to putting my stuff out. - Kyle, you're very talented.
But it doesn't matter if you're afraid of it.
If you're afraid of the disappointment all the time.
I gotta do something to get my songs heard.
You're right.
What do you think I should do?
Come with me.
- Well, I guess I will, then, huh? - I think you should.
- You sure this is Yearwood's house? - Yeah.
Yeah. Pepperoni and mushrooms. I'm sure.
- Wow. - Don't scratch it.
- Give me the thing. - The thing?
- The thing. - The thing?
- The car thing. - You don't even know what to call it.
I can't believe this. I thought you'd done this before.
- You think I'm a criminal? - I don't know.
I've seen it done.
I had a boyfriend who's doing time for this.
- Well, time... How much time? - Eighteen months.
That's a year and a half. Come on...
- I'm joking. That's a joke. - That was a bad joke.
Give me the tape.
- Okay. - Thank you.
- We gotta go. Shit, come on! - Let me put the tape in.
Take it out! It's got my name on it.
How else is she gonna know whose song it is?
She's also gonna know that I'm the one that broke into her car.
- That's the one drawback of the plan. - I can't believe it.
- I'm gonna get the tape. - Kyle, forget the tape.
- Where's eject? - Kyle...
Where's eject?
Since when did cops start responding so fast?
I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do about it.
Look, we weren't trying to steal anything.
We were just trying to give her a tape.
Well, in that case, I'll just have to let you go, won't I?
Don't arrest her. It was my tape. She just broke into the car for me.
- Thanks. - Believe it or not...
you two don't get to decide who we arrest.
She's in love with the boy
And even if they have to run away
She gonna marry that boy someday
Right here is your perpetrators there, Miss Yearwood.
Hi. I'm Kyle Davidson. It's a pleasure to meet you.
- Hi. - Hi.
This is Miranda Presley.
- Hi. - Hi. Honored.
Well, y'all are really polite for hardened criminals.
Oh, thanks.
Which one of you jimmied my car door open?
- She wasn't trying to steal it, though. - Well, thanks for not scratching it.
- Were you the one singing on the tape? - Yeah. You listened to the tape?
- Yeah. - It's his song.
I guess this song is available, or are you waiting...
to hear from everybody else whose car you broke into?
No, yours was the only car we broke into.
Oh, well, I'm flattered.
I just wish I wasn't flattered this late at night.
Is your phone number on the tape?
Well, I'm gonna have my manager give you a call...
about putting the song on hold.
Miss Yearwood, do you want to press charges?
Right now, all I want to do is get some sleep.
Good night.
- That means no. - Congratulations, son.
Miss Yearwood, excuse me. Since you're looking for new material...
Go on, Linda Lue, you can make it. I don't want to miss the dance.
No, wait. Linda, don't, don't. Wait a second.
That train's gonna be coming on around the bend any second...
- so let's just hop the freight. - Excuse me?
- Come on. - Kyle...
Come on, it's an old country tradition.
Plus, the tracks go right by the Full Moon Dance, you guys.
You remember what happened last time you went on a little adventure?
Here it comes. Here it comes. Are you kidding me?
You landed in the hospital.
You're the one who wants to write country songs.
There's nothing more country than a freight train.
- Kyle. - Oh, my God.
- Kyle. - You're gonna break your fool neck!
Go on. Go on. I'll meet you at the next crossing there.
You know, I had a cousin who once threw himself...
in front of a speeding train in the name of love.
Once?
Well, once pretty much did the trick, Miranda.
I wish you'd stop telling that story.
Why are we letting him get on that stupid train?
Kyle, come on!
Kyle, listen. I'm serious. Get back here!
- Kyle. - That ain't funny, Kyle!
Kyle, you're gonna get yourself hurt!
Kyle!
- Kyle, you're gonna hurt yourself! - Kyle, let's go!
- Kyle, you're stupid. - He's so stubborn.
You're so stubborn, Kyle!
- Kyle! - Kyle!
Careful, y'all.
- Kyle! Kyle! - Where is he?
Over here.
Hi. I slipped.
Are you sure you're okay? Kyle, you're all right?
You didn't break anything other than your pride?
- No, I'm okay, I think. - You sure do enjoy pain, don't you?
- Well, yeah, and heartache. - Yeah, a little pain and heartache.
- Yeah, well, I'm all right. - Come on, you big jerk.
Do you think this is funny? This isn't funny.
People that you know, they get killed and that's it, you know.
You die and you don't come back. That's it, you know.
- That's not funny. - What's the matter with her?
Come on, get up.
- Gave her a little scare, that's all. - I didn't mean to do that.
Come on, y'all. Let's show them what we got.
Don't show them what you got, Billy, you might scare someone.
Well, thanks a lot, Linda Lue.
- You're not still mad at me, are you? - Yes.
- Really? - No.
- Good, 'cause I'm sorry. - You should be.
- I got you. - Thanks.
Come on, you two.
All right.
Thank you, Katie.
All right, everybody. I want to introduce you...
to a young friend of mine from my own home state of Texas.
This is James Wright.
He's a singer-song writer. Very good.
- Did you know he was gonna be here? - I had no idea. I swear.
- Welcome, Jim. - Jim. I like that.
One, two, three, four.
Until now
I've been blind
Until now
I've been wastin' time
I've been lost
On streets of plenty
I've been tossed
On icy seas
And all I've crossed
Ain't worth a quarter
It's muddy water
Until now
There's a light
That shines forever
There's a light
That shines for me
There's a light
My footsteps guiding
For I've been hiding
Until now
Thank you. Thank you.
I wrote this next song for a woman to sing...
so I guess we best get one up here.
I'd like to invite up here on stage with us, Miss Miranda Presley.
She only heard this song once.
However, I happen to know she's a quick study.
She'll pick it right up.
- Dale, you got the lyrics on you? - Right here.
What say? Let's hit it.
One, two. One, two...
You got a thing or two to learn about me, baby
'Cause I ain't takin' it no more and I don't mean maybe
You don't know right from wrong
The love we had is gone
- So blame it on your lyin', cheatin' - Your lyin', cheatin'
cold, deadbeatin'
- two-timin', double dealin' - And double dealin'
- mean, mistreatin', lovin' heart - Lovin' heart
Well, all I wanted was to be your one and only
But all I ever got from you was being lonely
- Now that is laid to rest - Now that is laid to rest
- 'Cause you have failed the test - 'Cause you have failed the test
- Hey, blame it on your lyin', cheatin' - Hey, blame it on your lyin', cheatin'
- Cold, deadbeatin' - Cold, deadbeatin'
- Two-timin', double dealin' - Two-timin', double dealin'
- Mean, mistreatin', lovin' heart - Mean, mistreatin', lovin' heart
Are you headed for a heartache?
- Oh, yeah - Oh, yeah
Gonna get a bad break
- Oh, yeah - Oh, yeah
- You made a bad mistake - Oh, yeah
Well, you're never gonna find another love like mine
- Someone's gonna do you - Someone's gonna do you
- Like you went and done me, honey - Like you went and done me, honey
- And when she does you - And when she does you
- Like she'll do you - Like she'll do you
- Well, it ain't funny - Well, it ain't funny
- You'll need some sympathy - You'll need some sympathy
- But don't be callin' me - But don't be callin' me
- Hey, blame it on your lyin', cheatin' - Hey, blame it on your lyin', cheatin'
- Cold, deadbeatin' - Cold, deadbeatin'
- Two-timin', double dealin' - Two-timin', double dealin'
- Mean, mistreatin', lovin' heart - Mean, mistreatin', lovin' heart
- Yeah, blame it on your lyin', cheatin' - Yeah, blame it on your lyin', cheatin'
Cold, deadbeatin', two-timin', double dealin'
Mean, mistreatin', lovin' heart
Thank you.
The lovely and talented Miss Miranda Presley.
Thank you.
Well, next up, Jimmie Dale Gilmore.
- Way to go. - Thank you. Thanks.
- That was beautiful, Miranda. - Thanks.
- Thanks a lot. - Beautiful, sweetheart.
Thank you, James. Thank you, Miranda.
- You really did good, James. - Oh, thanks, sweetie.
- It sounded wonderful. - James.
- R.C. - We need to palaver, son.
Fancy meeting you here. Excuse me a sec. I'll talk later.